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June 5, 2018

Michelle Miles: Living in a Fishbowl

I had a recent experience on Facebook that has me questioning my very existence on Facebook.

My post was somewhat controversial, though I had no intention of it being that way, and generated over 170 comments (don’t bother looking for it; the post is no longer available for public consumption). It was merely my observation of the double standard that exists in our world. What’s good for the goose is sometimes not good for the gander.

When we put ourselves on social media, and post things that are considered hot topics, we unwittingly invite these people into our world. If our thought or opinion doesn’t align with theirs, then we’re open for attack. Everyone and everything comes under careful scrutiny by people who know better and people who have no problem telling us about it.



A perfect example was the woman who replied to a picture of my cat to tell me I should be feeding him out of a plate instead of a bowl. My response was, “Are you seriously telling me how to feed my cat?” to which her reply was to call me a b*tch, unfriend and block me.

So be it. I don’t need her on my friends list anyway.

But it angered me. Why is it okay for her to come over to my profile, crap all over it and then unfriend and block me?

Another post had a guy telling me I was irrational and ignorant. Um, okay? Because you know me personally, HOW? And you can tell that by reading ONE of my posts? Because I’d never seen him comment on anything of mine EVER and I’ve been on Facebook for over nine years.

Being a somewhat public figure has its pitfalls, as we all know from the recent news about Roseanne. And LeBron stomping out of his interview carrying his man-purse has caused all sorts of ridicule on Twitter.

I think I’m just weary of social media altogether. I’ve been saying this for a while now. Maybe I just need a break from it all, because it’s starting to feel like I live in a fishbowl.

8 comments:

Vicki Batman, sassy writer of sexy and funny fiction, blogger at Handbags, Books...Whatever said...

Hi, Michelle! Why would someone tell you how to feed your cat? She probably meant well, but seriously. The problem with social media is we have "friends," people who kinda know us, but don't intimately know us. I have had a hard time with political posts and have unfollowed some of them because they were vicious. I don't need vicious.

Michelle Miles said...

I don’t know why. It was the oddest thing. And her reaction was just bizarre. Good riddance I say. I’ve unfollowed and unfriended a lot lately. I’m with you. I don’t need that.

Kathy Ivan said...

People seem to think that they are living in anonymity with social media. That anything they say on any social media site is A-okay, because they have the mistaken idea that anything goes, if its on one of the popular sites. It's just another symptom of the new and improved cyber-bullying. It is perfectly all right for people to denigrate and belittle others behind the shield of an avatar, blindly believing they can say anything they want, because, hey, everybody does it. Which is why I find myself more and more stepping back from social media for days at a time just to maintain my sanity.

Michelle Miles said...

I'm with you, Kathy. That's EXACTLY what's happening. They're a bully behind a computer/phone screen but would they REALLY say that stuff to someone's face? I doubt it.

Karilyn Bentley said...

She really commented on your cat's food dish? Geez. Unless there is a medical reason and the new veterinary recommendation has changed, as long as you're feeding Dexter, who cares? That's crazy! And her reaction was nuts too. Good riddance to have her drop you as a friend. Who needs friends like those?

As far as the "controversial" post, yes, I read it and all those comments and was like wow. While I like to get different views on a matter, that was just nuts. I'm still upset about it and it wasn't on my FB page! :) I think people believe they can post anything they want in a belligerent way and that it's perfectly okay. It's not. I don't mind, and like, having discussions on different topics b/c as I've said, I like getting different views on things. But when people jump in and tell you that you're wrong then block you, I'm like, geez. Can we grow up and have a discussion without all the name calling?

Anyway, I've written a book (ha!), so I'll hop off my soapbox now. :) This was a really good post!

Kathleen Baldwin said...

OH wow! I'm so busy that I hardly have time to post except when I have a book coming out or a special offer. Your post makes me feel a little better about that. I'm sorry people were so rude to you Michelle. You're one of the nicest people I know, and you certainly deserve respect. Facebook is my least favorite social media, it feels so claustrophobic to me, and invasive. I like pictures and short comments, so instagram and Twitter are my go tos.
But really the whole social media thing is over the top. Lately it just feels like one huge advertisement. I wonder what we can do about that.
Goodreads is okay but here again some comments are too mean.

Michelle Miles said...

Karilyn, yes. She actually told me that I should use a plate instead of a bowl *rolling eyes* And as for the other thing yeah I dunno. Those people are just...crazy!

Michelle Miles said...

Kat, I like Instagram too. :)