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February 6, 2014

Cupid Comes Calling: When Long Distance Goes the Distance

Cupid has a sense of humor. Just ask my dear friend Marie. Her first date with Edward began with Catholic Mass. Her second threw her amidst 60+ members of Edward’s family, after which Edward’s dad pulled Marie aside and asked about her relationship with his son.

With a wry half-smile, she replied, “Define ‘relationship.’” 

It was a fair point. Months had passed between their first and second dates. More than that, Marie’s career had moved her 1,200 miles away from Edward.

This was the mid 80s. She and Edward were both employed by a Fortune 500 company as professional nerds engineers. From early on, their coworkers had sensed their potential as a couple—both of them super smart gaming geeks—and tried to set them up. But while Edward was all for it, Marie hesitated.

“He was scary,” she told me with a laugh. But a Star Trek convention came to town and their wily coworkers arranged for Edward to be the one driving Marie home afterward. The two talked all night about the many things they had in common, and he finally asked her on an official date.

The result was Mass plus dinner plus “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” (during which Marie laughed before the jokes happened because she saw them coming).

Immediately thereafter, Marie moved clear across the country.

While Edward scrambled to transfer his job and follow her, their courtship proceeded by phone. In just four months, the two had racked up $5K in long distance expenses. Things were clearly serious, in spite of having only had one official date.

Their second rendezvous wasn’t even an official date—more of a complex interweaving of their individual travel plans by road and air—and it culminated in Marie’s defining moment with Edward’s dad.

A couple of weeks later, Edward proposed. Over the phone.

He flew out to see her. They bought a ring... and a house. Her family said it couldn’t last.

Well... more than 26 years have passed since I had the privilege of witnessing their vows. Their four, mostly-grown children are super smart. They all love Star Trek.

Marie still anticipates jokes. Cupid is still laughing.

Cover of "Flushed" a sexy romantic comedy by Sally Felt.
It’s my book birthday! Flushed hits the virtual shelves today. At the risk of spoilers, these characters come face to face with the prospect of a long distance relationship.

The blurb:

 When it hits the fan, he’s your man.

 Kissing her plumber in the middle of her dinner party wasn’t in Isabelle’s carefully-laid plans. But neither had she expected an ambush by her uninvited ex. So when Kim Martin, plumber to the rescue, charms her guests and poses as her new guy to spare her humiliation, she gets carried away.

 At first, being Isabelle’s faux beau suits Kim Martin just fine. She’s hot, intriguing and won’t get in the way of his plans to blow town and build a business he’s passionate about. But Isabelle just isn’t cut out to be a good time girl. She gets under Kim’s skin and into his head—and he’s not entirely sure what to do about that.

 Isabelle’s been fooled too often to trust a gorgeous flirt like Kim. Yet the more she tries to fit him into a box, the harder he fights his way out of it. Hot, bothered and more than a little flushed, she’s having trouble keeping her hands—or her heart—to to herself.

 Find Flushed at:

 Visit Sally's website.

Would you ever risk a long distance romance? Has the advent of Skype and Google Hangouts and Face Time made a difference in making it work?

Weigh in in the comments. And be sure to include your email address to be entered to win the $200 Visa gift card!



Bailey Stewart said...

You know, you get to a certain age when you say "why not?" I've learned to almost never say never (although worm pudding is still on my lists of nots). I think that technology has made it so much easier now. I have a cousin who met her husband on-line and they're still together after probably close to 15 years.

Debbie Lou M said...

Sure I would. In this day and age it would be alot easier than 20 years ago. When you first fall in love it's all about 'gotta be with them 24/7, but you learn love can endure.

Pamela Stone said...

Well, when I was younger and shall we say, more insecure, long distance might have been a problem. These days, it might work. Technology makes it so easy and much less expensive than all those old long distance phone bills.

JeanMP said...

Sure I would, in fact I did, we have been married 13 years now.
skpetal at hotmail dot com

Unknown said...

I LIVE a long distance romance. My husband of 22 years (!) and I have our own company. As a result for the past 18+ years he has been away every week, Monday through Thursday. (Which might explain why we've been married 22 years LOL!!)

I think the advent of social media and technological advancements has REALLY helped; he's just a keystroke or text away!

Unknown said...

My hubby and I had a long distance relationship for the first year we were dating..and we are now happily married for 13 years(this Sept) I heard everyone tell us it wouldn't work..I loved proving them wrong..congratulations to them for being so in love for so long..child knows what he's doing..even if we don't agree

Vicki Batman, sassy writer said...

Lol, Sally, a fantastic story. And I love Ferris--Bueller.

Vicki Batman, sassy writer said...

Lol, Sally, a fantastic story. And I love Ferris--Bueller.

bn100 said...

yes, it can help

bn100candg at hotmail dot com

Rita Wray said...

It would probably be good, you wouldn't get bored with each other.


Linda Steinberg said...

I am the queen of long distance romance. I met my Brooklyn born husband in Israel, and we long distanced between New York and Texas for two years before we got married. Then he lived and worked overseas a lot, coming home only four or five times a year. Maybe that's why the marriage lasted over thirty years -LOL

Barb Han said...

I'm not so much a long distance girl. :-)

Jennifer Haddad said...

I'm not sure I could do the long distance relationship thing, but would tell someone if they were truly in love to go for it!

Sally Felt said...

I've got some catching up to do, I see! Hot diggity. From the top...

Bailey, WORM PUDDING? I don't even want to know how such a thing approached your "never" list. (At first I read it as "warm pudding," and I thought, why not? I need new glasses.)

Debbie Lou, the 24/7 thing does feel pretty real and urgent, doesn’t it? Hormones are crazy things (bless their hearts).

Yes, Pam. Can you imagine $5K in long distance bills?

Sally Felt said...

Jean, congratulations!

Snarky Mom, you’ve had a commuter marriage for more than 18 of your 22 years? Yow! My hat is off to you and your honey.

Karla, I agree. Marie and Edward were both grounded, responsible people who understood what they were doing. Congratulations to you on 13 years!

Sally Felt said...

Me, too, Vicki:
Ferris: Look, it's real simple. Whatever mileage we put on, we'll take off.
Cameron: How?
Ferris: We'll drive home backwards.

Sally Felt said...

bn100, if you’re referring to technology, then, yup, I agree.

Rita, you’re hilarious.

Linda, you ARE the queen of long distance romance. I had no idea just how true it was!

Barb and Jennifer, I’m not sure I could do it, either. Maybe if we had a plan to live closer together within six months or something. But clearly, it works for some people, and that makes me happy.

Caro Carson said...

Long distance accelerated my relationship with my boyfriend-now-husband. I was on active duty in the Army, he was a civilian in nearby Austin. After dating for just a few weeks, I was deployed to Panama. Our relationship continued by letter. I think having someone put their thoughts on paper in their own handwriting tells you as much in one letter as you might learn in ten dinners-and-a-movie. I was also impressed that he made the effort to box up quirky gifts and stand in line at the post office to mail them to me. We were engaged after knowing each other for five months--and three of those, we were on different continents. We're coming up on our 23rd anniversary now. Had this story taken place today, however, the handwritten letters would have been e-mails or instant messaging, and I wonder if they would have had the same impact--or if they would have contained the same level of thoughtfulness. It's so easy to dash off a quick comment on your computer or phone, compared to considering each sentence before you write it in ink. Yikes--I sound like an old fuddy-duddy! I'm not! I swear! I'm hip and cool.

Sally Felt said...

Caro, handwritten letters and quirky gifts? *swoon*

I, too, wonder if emails and texts would have managed anything like the same effect. I know how excited I get to find "real" mail that isn't a bill or promotion. Means so much.

Congrats on your long-lived match.

Karilyn Bentley said...

Great story, Sally! And congrats on your book! I love the title with a plumber. Here's to many sales!!!!

Sally Felt said...

From your fingers to the Universe's ear, Karilyn. :)

Armenia said...

That was a great story. I had a long distance relationship with my friend for four months. We've been married now for 22 years. When its right, its right.

armiefox at yahoo dot com

Sally Felt said...

Wow, Armenia. What a great validation for trusting your instincts. Congratulations on your success.

Kimberly Dawn said...

I did try a long distance romance. Ended up being one of the worst decisions in my life!

mnshopper at yahoo dot com

Sally Felt said...

You're not alone, Kimberly. It's clearly not for everyone. At least not every relationship. Hope you've found some peace with the experience. Hugs!

Kim V said...

I hope I never have to try it, but I would. I think technology has made it easier for couples. Of course, it has also made it easier for them to cheat.