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February 16, 2016

What is Love? @sloanebcollins #plottingprincesses #amwriting #marriage #love #MFRWorg

What is Love?
Merriam Webster’s definition of love:
a (1):  strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties <maternal love for a child> (2):  attraction based on sexual desire :  affection and tenderness felt by lovers (3):  affection based on admiration, benevolence, or common interests <love for his old schoolmates>

The definition just doesn’t seem to encompass the feeling of an all-consuming romantic love, does it?  I write Romance, about two people falling in love, and encountering pitfalls along the way, things they have to overcome to profess their love to each other and end up happily ever after. So that’s romantic love, with the hero sweeping the heroine off her feet, seducing her with the best sex ever, and proposing in a unique and romantic way.

But that’s not always real life. Love goes so much deeper than what’s in the pages of a book. Yes, my husband completely surprised me with the proposal. We’d already been talking about getting married, even had the rings picked out, but had talked about doing it at back at home (I was in college, he was in the army). So one weekend he drove up to Mizzou, and wanted to walk around the campus. He had asked me what my favorite spot was, so I took him to the columns on the quadrangle. It was night time, the spotlights were shining, and he took me to the middle column and pulled the ring out of his pocket. He couldn’t kneel because it had been raining that day, but it was still so romantic.

And almost twenty-eight years later, he’s still showing me how much he loves me.
I don’t get flowers because the cats will eat them. But last Friday night he surprised me with my all-time favorite meal of steak and baked potatoes.  And this was after he’d worked twelve days in a row and hadn’t been to sleep since nine pm the night before. Now that’s love.

My husband shows me love every day in big and little ways. When he plans our vacations (which take months in the planning) he always throws in a surprise for me, like visiting the actual house where my favorite Christmas movie was filmed. Or finding unique bookstores or scrapbook stores. Or having the hotel add anniversary surprises to our room.

So when I write romance, I think about the love of my husband, and try to throw in little things to honor him, and how much I love him.

What about you?  If you’re in a relationship, what are the little things you do for each other?


Vicki Batman, sassy writer said...

Hi, Allison! When Handsome and I were dating, he bought flowers from a street vendor, the tiny tiny roses. He still buys me flowers and donuts. LOL I treasure most the long Sunday morning walks to the coffee shop with the Adora-poos. Time is the greatest gift.

Kathy Ivan said...

What a wonderful post. Living out the love story between the pages is lovely, but real life love stories are so much sweeter. I still remember the DARA meeting where you got your rose for your first book and you husband was there, showing his love and support. That's the kind of thing that speaks volumes about what true love means.

Sloane B. Collins said...

Vicki, we all get so busy that I treasure the times he and I can sit and actually TALK, about anything and everything. You definitely have a treasure in Handsome!

Sloane B. Collins said...

Oh, Kathy. You remembered that? I was thinking about it this morning, too. He's the best, and sometimes can really surprise me, just like that day. I got home from the meeting that day, and he'd made all sorts of French foods, had French champagne (for my French book!). He's a keeper for sure.

Sylvia said...

My husband is so much better at showing me how much he cares. He puts so much thought into gifts, trips everything and I feel like I just throw something together and give it to him. But I always tell him, I'm the luckiest woman because I have him. Friday night he came home from work with flowers for me after he'd had a grueling day at work. (Layoffs, reorgs, you know those dreadful times when the office is tense.) But he had me flowers and I was gone to a book signing. I'm a lucky woman.

Lina Gardiner said...

Loved your blog post, Sloane, I especially loved the part where your husband asked where your favorite place was on Campus so he could propose. I can't think of many men who would do that. He's a keeper.

Cathy McElhaney said...

Awesome story. He sounds lie a great guy! My husband is not, nor has he ever been, romantic. He puts up with my moods and always seems to know what I need when I need it. He is very supportive of my attempts at writing and promotes my book whenever he can!