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April 20, 2017

Failed Beauty Contestant #tiara #romanticcomedy #shortstory

I can hear you laughing way over here. Yes, I’ve been a failed beauty contestant, not once, but twice.

The first time was in high school in a program hosted by my hometown’s fire department. The real reason I entered was the $500 scholarship. I wanted to go to college and $500 would pay for a few semesters of community college. So I entered, wrote the essay, borrowed a black swimsuit, wore a sweet long dress of eyelet.

And didn’t win. In all fairness, I was selected from the 24 original entrants to be in the final top twelve. That part was cool. Picture in the paper! The girl who did get the tiara looked 24 not 17 or 18. She really looked like a beauty contestant.


The second time I was persuaded after a few margaritas to represent a friend’s moped shop in a contest hosted by a recreational vehicle show. I said no a few times. My friends worked on me and I said yes. This was six years after the first one. All I had to do was walk around in a swimsuit and heels which I did. One of the judges was a former NFL quarterback. Pretty embarrassing. The blonde with the cornrows won. She was younger too.
All I’m saying here is sometimes, there’s funny stuff in our lives and it makes a great story.

Here’s a teaser from “Raving Beauty,” a romantic comedy short story in the Just You and Me boxed set:

 "I can't believe I let your loony brother, who's tormented me all my life, talk me into this." With my eye on the teenage competition, I tugged the leg opening of my swimsuit into place to better cover my hip. "Just because I did some modeling in college doesn't make me a pageant diva. Back then, I was incredibly skinny, and clothes fit easily."
         "Daniel's a rat. He took advantage of your third or was it your fourth margarita, Kelly?" Maggie Ackerman, my best friend and roommate, adjusted the scarlet satin sash draped across my body. Glittery stick-on letters spelled out Miss Yahoo! Ranch Steakhouse. "Hold still."
         With an old-fashioned teasing comb, she picked my brown hair into place at the crown of my head. The eerie suspicion I resembled a scary dame with Big Texas hair from the television show, Dallas, caused me to avoid looking in the mirror.
         "Close your eyes." She hit me with super freeze-it hairspray. "Now, that ain't goin' nowhere."
         My personal stylist needed to work on her aim, preferably with both of her eyes open. I spit-wiped the sticky spot on my right cheek. I hope nobody I know sees me like this. 
         "There." The scrunch of her nose reflected how pleased she was with herself. "Feeling better?"
         Like a slab of beef.
Preorder Just You and Me at:
Barnes & Noble:…/1125868014

Confession time! Who had beauty contestant aspirations?


Liese said...

I'm so impressed with your bravery (even after a few margaritas!) I've read this story. Very funny! And quite the romance in the end!

Wishing you many sales!

Vicki Batman, sassy writer said...

Hi, Liese! It's a fun story and quite a bit sexier now. You know, after I said yes to my friend, I just had to go forward and get through it and so I did. Hugs!

Melissa Keir said...

I did. I wanted to walk the runway and appear in print. I got as far as doing local modeling for the mall. I did a few runway shows and appeared in their print ads, but it didn't go anywhere. I was on the short side... 5'3" and not model thin.

Vicki Batman, sassy writer said...

Hi, Melissa! I was very thin and tall. I'm 5'8". And could walk the walk too. I did lots of shows in college and even produced some for stores. Having dates who liked to go eat added a few pounds. Thanks for visiting.